Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
