Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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