remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
