Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
