if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Never underestimate the power of titties
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
