Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There r osticjed everywhere
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
