this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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