I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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