I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
