He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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