I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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