Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize