i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
