the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
