wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize