a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
