Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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