Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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