yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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