I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
