Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
