With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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