Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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