I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
