Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Someone came in the potted fern
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
