That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
