If that was your dad, he is hot
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize