Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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