Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
