it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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