I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
