dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
