After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
