So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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