well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
