operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
