Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
