I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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