I feel like abortions should bother me more
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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