how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
