I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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