I want you more than these girls want KFC
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize