turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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