what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
