I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
