I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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