the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
