it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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