Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
