well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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