VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize