How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize
