ya dads aren't the best wingmen
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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