Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize