Screwed.edu
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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