If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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