so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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