Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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