D3 body, D1 cock
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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