I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
