i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
God I need to hump something, right now.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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