4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
