At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
